Classification of Private Medical Schools on The Basis of Fee Structures

New varieties of private medical schools are being opened day by day. These have different tastes, schemes and fee structures. Here’s the simple approach to classify private medical schools on the basis of their fee structures. If you’re seeking for a medical education in one of the private medical schools, choose the class that suits you best 😉

Class 1: Those who charge you something and do nothing

You’re one of the unluckiest medical students if your medical school falls into this category. Your medical school does not belong to this class unless it has some serious kind of debt with the medical schools governing body. The problems of your medical school related to bargaining in between the medical council of the country you’re studying may also be a good cause. If you’re unlucky indeed, your school will be banned/black listed in the year you join or the final year. L  The initial results could sound little good but final results are most likely to be worst. Don’t worry about the low patient flow in your medical school hospital. The hospital provides 75% discount to the guardians of students. Don’t complain about a fused bulb in the library or lack of drinking water supply. You may be violating the ethics by doing so as the main slogan of these medical schools is “Medical Science is not a subject governed by infrastructures”

Class 2: Those who charge you everything and do everything

You need to be lucky by birth to get admitted to these medical schools unless a serious miracle occurs in your life. Excellent economic background is the most required criteria. Just good is not enough. If one of your guardians have high political/official affiliations, you’re most likely to get admission to one of the best medical schools of this category. Bread and butter will directly come to your bed after graduating from one of these medical schools as these have higher recognition and you sell yourself anywhere.

Note: Some of the medical schools belonging to this class appear “Charge something and do everything” type in papers. So, don’t get excited even if you have rocked the interview unless you’ve completed all the necessary economic and political exercises for your admission 😉

Class 3: Charge you nothing and do nothing

Getting admission to these medical schools is as easy as admitting a child to grade 1 or 2 of a public school. You don’t need any extra academic criteria as above two classes require. If you’re serious about yourself it is highly recommended that you better leave studying and start doing something than getting admitted to medical schools of this category. These types of medical schools keep on opening in regular intervals and generally do not last for more than 3-4 years. Unless you’re very lucky, there’s almost no chance that you will graduate!

Class 4: Charge you something and do what you desire

The medical schools which fall into this class will have big buildings, high speed internet connection and a well equipped playground for your comfort. 😉  Getting admission in these colleges is like doing a business deal. Students themselves can set up question papers, examination dates etc on their own will. There is no obligation of 90% or 75% attendance in order to appear for exams. It doesn’t matter even if you fail multiple numbers of times. You can appear supplementary exams on any dates you desire until you pass. No matter what it takes but you’re most likely to get a certificate with flying colors after 6 years of course 😉

Class 5: Charge you something and do few things

A large number of medical schools fall into this category. The teachers in these colleges often say “We’re just the facilitators; learning medicine only depends on your hard work.” It hurts but don’t compare the prospectus with the medical school especially after getting enrolled. Services and facilities look optimum. Pass out results are average. Your hard work determines whether you can be sold anywhere for your bread and butter.

Note: Above classification is totally a crazy art of fiction and is just for fun. Resemblance to any medical schools/teaching hospitals living or dead is purely coincidental 😉

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